Simply Me.

I actually remember how to scrap...

I thought I would post some of my guest design pages for Banana Frog. Beverely asked me a couple months back if I wanted to be a guest designer, I almost didn't take it because of all I was going through at the time, but I am glad I did. The stamps were so fun to work with.

I made this card with the concentric and flower stamps.. and of course some of my new AC ribbon and rub ons I was dying to use.

A couple mini cards I did with the stamps and some new AC ribbon.

Here I used the stamps as a border for my layout.. and usually I am so stamp impaired.. it was great using  some stamps for once and breaking out of my " box" a little.

I am feeling so much happier today, lately, I really feel God working in my life and not only changing me, but showing me he is control of the situation.

Anyway, the kids and I are enjoying Summer, I've actually dusted off my camera, I will post some pictures really soon!

I loved this..

You know, when I second guess myself about putting myself and my problems out there, I am constantly amazed at the support and encouragement I get along the way, most of the time from strangers who are like angels sent at my time of need to encourage me. I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me in the last couple months. Someone emailed me today, who is going through the exact same thing with a husband in the military. she sent me this website from rejoice marriage ministies.. loved this stand, it was exactly how I felt, that no matter what I will not stop fighting, give in to my anger and pain, or stop believing that my marriage can be healed. I know that it takes two for a marriage to work, but I am putting my faith in God that with him all things are possible. It's sad how I forgot him in the good times, but through the pain, he has brought me to my knees and I know there has to be a purpose to all of this. Anyway, I just wanted to share it because it meant alot to me.

I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!... I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.

I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.

- Author Unknown

I'm still here, barely.

I know I left everyone hanging, I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since my last post, but truth is, I have not been okay, and it's been hard just living through it, and trying to get through each day.

Without going into details with respect for Mike, I won't say much, but that he just emotionally shut down on me a couple month back, and said he was unhappy. I was totally shocked, as we seemed very happy, and everyone else thought we were as well. Sure, we had ups and downs like any couple but nothing that would make me ever think that we were having problems or that we couldn't get through anything. Apparantly I was wrong.. I still don't know why, I can't understand any of it.I mean he told me why, but they were such trivial reasons, nothing that every wife hasn't done at one point or another and it still makes no sense to me.  He won't communicate with me at all, I am so worried for him. At first I though maybe since he was in in Iraq not long before it could have been some sort of stress that caused it,but I still don't know.I feel like I deserve the answers and the time to work through things. I can't accept it at all right now, after one has been married as long as we have, you don't base it on feelings but a choice and a commitment to work through whatever comes along. I told him, we made a vow, in good times and in bad, and when the bad come, you can't just give up. Our nine year anniversary is in a couple days.. I know that will be a hard day to get through, luckily my friend Olivia is coming to spend the night over here, have a little girls night.

 I can tell you that this was never the man I knew, the man I Ioved, hes been nothing but an amazing husband and father. I look at him and its like I don't know who he is anymore.. I told him that I would continue to fight for us, that if he needs space he can have that for now until he can figure things out.. of course there have been times I have been so angry, times I feel like I will have an emotional breakdown,times I have begged God to just let me die than face this pain. I love him that much, but I know that I need to take care of myself and my children foremost. We separated and I have been focusing on my kids for now and I can tell you I feel so lost. Like my whole world, my dreams, everything has been ripped apart. Every day I wake up I ask for God to give me strength to make it through another day and of course that he will come home. We are taking a couple weeks not talking to each other right now to sort out what we are feeling, because we were both in opposite places, me trying to work everything out, but the more I pushed the more he has pulled away,he says he hasn't had time to really get any clarity which he needs and I can't do this anymore right now. So if you could keep us in your prayers, I appreciate that or if anyone has been though something like this and has any words of encouragment.  

I have done just a minimal amount of scrapbooking, and finally just picked my camera up a few days ago.. its hard to do what you love, when you lose your joy, but slowly I am trying.. I will share some pages soon, I just did a little guest design spot gig this month, and I will share that soon.

Hope you all are having a nice Summer, the kids and I are staying busy, at the pool, free movie days, time with friends that kind of thing. We are heading to Nashville in August for the month, and have a little trip to Destin, FL planned with my family.. I am looking forward to that.

and.. who saw the Bachelerotte finale last night? I was so shocked.. I  felt so bad for Jason, I could totally relate to how he felt, shoot, hmm maybe if things don't work out I should track Jason down. At least my sense of humor is still intact.

 

Thank you..

First of all I wanted to thank all of you who have been so supportive and left comments, and for my friends who called, sent letters etc.. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

I am not one who is negative or talks openely about personal problems or struggles, so I don't want to go into the issues, but my close friends, family and God know and they have all been there helping through a very tough time. I think things seem to be improving, but I am careful to say that, as there is that little part of me that still doesn't know, I am just praying that God knows, and he will work it out in his time.I keep telling myself I will look back and think that he brought me through the valley to teach me something, and that I will be stronger for it.

My family and I did get away this weekend to the Outer banks in NC for the Memorial day weekend.. we had a great time, playing on the beach, swimming at the pool, just taking time to be together.

I also got the Nikon D300 a few weeks back.. this was the first time I actually picked it up in weeks, I do love it though.

On the ferry back from Oracoke island, I see all these sea gulls in my rearview mirror..

How I love the beach...

and watching my kids enjoying life..

Scenic little fishing towns..

and the smile on my daughters face. Thank God for my beautiful children who remind me that every day is worthwhile.

No words..

I've been going through a tough crisis in the last couple days.

I really have no words to be able to type out right now, but just please pray for me. I am not sure I will be back to blogging or not, just need some time for however long it takes.

It's something I didn't see coming and feel blindsighted. I've cried and begged God and have barely eaten or slept in 24 hours. I know sometimes he brings trials into our life to show us things, to bring us closer to him or at least for me, to show us that life is not always easy.

I debated saying anything at all, but sometimes bad things just happen, we don't always understand why. I am just trying to be strong right now for my kids.

My mom is coming in today, thank God, she had already planned a trip planned months ago. I am just thankful for the timing.

Thank you for your love and support....and for my close friends, I will talk to you soon, I just need time.. and for my one friend, who has already helped me so much and you know who you are.. thank you for everything...

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." -- Lin Yutang

Happy Mother's day to all the mothers out there.

I woke up to these pretty flowers my daughter made me out of paper.. isn't she so crafty? I love them. I love how she used a snapple bottle and typed in colored text. My son had a card for me and a cute little candleholder he made from school.

We had plans to spend the day in Annapolis, one of my favorite cities, with my family today, but I woke up with my head throbbing, just can't seem to shake this cold I had, the pain was so bad Mike ended up taking me to the ER, I had a sinus infection, and finally the antiobiotics are kicking in, and I think I will finally be feeling well again after a week of feeling so crappy.It's been depressing being sick all week.

Mike came home from his trip yesterday, he's been amazing, always makes me remember why I fell in love with him, taking care of me, and taking the kids out to the movies so I can rest. It wasn't the way I imagined the day to be, but at least I am on the road to feeling better, and really all the matters is being here with my family.

Hope you all have a beautiful day!

Under the weather..

Just though I would pop in real quick.

I've been sick for the last couple days, think I picked up some sort of virus. I feel so tired, conjested and my throat burns.

So I won't be around for a few days. Hope I feel better soon. I have something fun planned with my family for Mother's Day, and my mom will be here next week.

Hope to be back feeling better with pictures and something more interesting to share soon.

Just a quick layout I did last weekend for an art inspiration piece over at Scrapsupply.. I even won a $25 gift certificate for it. whohoo.

Hope you all are having a better day than I am.

Oh and if it wasn't bad enough, last night I got pink eye! ( thanks Evan), I mean really could things get any worse? So I guess I will be in the house for the next two days, conjested and with my eyes half swollen. Nice.

Happy National Scrapbook day.

Is anyone celebrating today?

I haven't really spent time on scrap boards in forever, but I thought it would be fun to hang out at Scrapsupply today.. miss it there!

Anyway, there are some fun photo challenges, sketches, fun prizes to win etc.

I loved Debi's sketch, so I whipped this layout up real quick and I got to break out some of the new AC I got this week.. whohoo.

supplies ( all new American Craft, ribbon, chipboard etc).

and since it is NSD.. just thought I would share a card I did for Scarlet Lime.. still love those birds!

Have a wonderful day! I am excited about a photography workshop I am going to tommorrow, called "captivated by the light". Hope to learn alot about using natural light and lighting techniques.. and I get to finally meet some local VA photographers I met from a group on flickr.

Things making me happy today...

* A new yellow sundress from Target.

* A big box from American Crafts on my doorstep today. Lots of rub ons. I love rub ons.

* Some fun new bookmarks in the AC gallery, check them out!

* Lots of time to read lately. I actually even went to the library, I love borrowing books. Been reading Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet, some Jennifer Weiner, lots of photography books, and true crime. I love true crime.

*The sun is actually out today after 2 days of rain..

This song by Meiko that actually Sarah Champion got me loving.. I think I need to go buy the album.

* Oh and lots of scrapping with the May Scarlet Lime kit. Here are a few sneek peeks.

Hmm...

* Haven't been in the blogging mood in the past few days. Spending a lot more time offline and enjoying it. I don't know if it's just me, but sometimes I think its time to give up blogging and getting back to a more private life, then I think I might miss it-. Please tell me that I am not the only one that feels that way sometimes?

* Scrapped a lot this weekend, got the May SL kit, I will share some peaks soon.

* Mike and I saw " Forgetting Sarah Marshall" , so funny! I recommend it, but be prepared to laugh at the male nudity in it, I mean isn't that sad that women actually just laugh at that? So not attractive, but I have to say the package was impressive. I really want to see " Baby mama" next.

* Finally saw " Antonement" this weekend too. I thought it was a little slow in parts, but the ending was so sad/ but good. Does any one have any more good movie recomendations for me?

* Mike left for a couple weeks for some convention/ training yesterday. Just when I get used to him being home the Army likes to send him off again.. that's okay though, I did three months, what's two weeks?? Although I am a little bitter that he is in Orlando and has the coming weekend off. I warned him he better not hit DisneyWorld or any of that sort without me.. I'm kidding, sort of.

* Evan had pink eye the end of last week. Luckily I didn't get it this time. You can kind of tell in these pictures I took of him on Friday.

and of course it seems these days he will never let me get a normal picture of him without doing something gross. Must be a boy thing.

Happy Monday!